School's getting in the way, for one. At largely because of my Drawing exam. I've tackled myself and decided to do a comic about the city "Isaura" -one of the subjects you could choose from. It's making me crazy, drawing about 18-24 panels a day, always the same characters. Maybe it's something I'll grow to appreciate, but right now I'm thinking "I'll finish this and be damn proud about it, but never again!"
Each time I visit dA or Hyves, whatever site there is out there, it makes me feel somewhat sad. The people in my watchlist are pretty much all popular artists out here. And all the people on my watchlist are pretty much friends and familiars. And then, somewhere I still feel hope about ever achieving more than that, my 'breakthrough', but at the same time, dissapointment because somewhere down I hear something telling me; "you're not that good." and then I know that it's true.
I guess I should be more thankful. I live in a prosperous country, I have my own laptop, freedom to draw and write, a good education, a secure home, friends who care about me and with who I have fun. Is it not enough to be loved? Why do I want to be adored?
When I read journals from others, I get jealous about their peacefulness and content with the way of life. I don't think I am content, or ever will be. No one will ever do it right from my point of view, and that's horrible. And that's why I'll often act content, or happy. I can be happy, and I sometimes get a weird sense of peace, but it tends to vanish quite quickly.
So thank you, dear watchers, no matter how few or how many. I am just a girl who likes to draw. I won't dream of worldwide fame anymore
Devious Comments
I didn't even know you wanted to be a well-known artist, since you didn't want to go to the art academy. I never really thought I could be a well-known artist, though I enjoy the attention of course. But I don't think I'm constant enough.
Anyway, what's wrong with being a girl who likes to draw? You can leave the "just" ^^
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